Waiting Questionnaire {For the Adoptive Mother} – Day 176

If you’re new here, you can find my original Waiting Questionnaire and explanation to read all the questions & know a little more about why I’m tracking this time…

Waiting Questionarrie

Another month has passed as we wait; I wanted to share a quick update.

How long have you been waiting? 176 days.

Any News? A little while ago, we received our acceptance into an incredible fundraiser. We have the opportunity to work with a remarkable foundation to help fund the cost of our adoption. I will absolutely be sharing more on this, but in the meantime, we are beginning the logistical process.

How are you feeling today? Impatient. I know that people wait much, much longer to conceive or adopt a child than 6 months, but I’d so love to have our baby home and transition into life as a family of five. It is not a restless impatience. Really, the closest thing I can compare my emotion to is being 6 months pregnant…knowing there is a little more time to go, but eager to meet this child and know who they are; to start seeing who they will become. In this case, I am eager to know from whom and where they are, literally and geographically.

What are your prayers right now? As always, for the Lord’s timing as well as what’s listed above. That I/we would be focused on all that is important and eternal. To have a clear vision for God and his desire for whomever this child is that comes home.

What have you done with your kids this week? I’m thankful for the nice weather and sunshine. The warmth (I use the term loosely) and fresh air stirred and woke up the spirit inside me!  Yesterday was amazing – we spent three hours playing at Barnes & Noble, having lunch, and listening to story time – the boys were awesome and rested in the afternoon before we spent about 2 hours outside! 

Nervous about anything? That we are not being viewed and the wait will be endless. It is hard to say that because really, honestly, I am content for the most part and cherishing my time as a mother of two and family of four. I trust the timing of when another child will enter our family. Ah, I don’t have to say it; you know this! There are things I fear, moments I long for this child and want them here so badly it hurts, and then remind myself that soon the time will come. 

Dreaming about/Looking forward to this week: Holding the weight of a newborn again. Cal turned two last Saturday. Somehow, I still think of Max as my baby, but then I look at him. Look at Cal. Glance from one to the next. Remember I need to bend my knees when I lift them and I realize they are not as small as I consider them to be. My babies are four and two, they walk, talk, and feed themselves, and (occassionally, ha) sleep through the night! Remind me of this when I haven’t slept in three months and feel like my brain might actually explode from transition, emotion, and exhaustion :)

That is all for now. We’d love your continued prayers and can’t wait for the day we get to introduce our new baby!

Are you pregnant, waiting to adopt, or waiting to conceive right now? Please share answers to some of these questions in the comments or a post you’ve written on the topic. And feel free to interact and encourage one another!

~ Becca

For a list of parties I link-up with, click here.

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18 Responses to Waiting Questionnaire {For the Adoptive Mother} – Day 176
  1. Sarah
    February 19, 2014 | 10:17 pm

    Hang in there babe. Maybe we’ll all have babies at the same time and all be on “leave” together!

    • Becca V
      February 20, 2014 | 7:33 pm

      Although that would be wonderful, I’m always on “leave,” so I wouldn’t mind if one of us was at least out of the initial infant sleepless haze :)

  2. Sarah
    February 19, 2014 | 10:54 pm


    I LOVE reading your adoption updates. With a baby on the way, I can relate to so much of what you are saying :)

    Waiting: 140 days

    News: Finding out the gender on Friday :D

    Feeling Today: So refreshed by the sunshine and “warm” weather! I took the boys to the zoo today and met a few friends and it was wonderful. The boys ran and enjoyed it so much and the all fell asleep in the car on the way home, giving me a good hour to sit and read in the car in the driveway :)

    Prayers Right Now: For the transition of adding a 4th child to our family, my 2 year olds are huge mama’s guys (Judah has always been a daddy’s boy) and I am praying that they will adjust smoothly to a new brother or sister, and to not having as much of mommy as they are used to for a little while.

    This Week: We have gone on a few walks around the neighborhood looking for squirrels and birds in the trees :) The boys have spent a lot of time running around together in the backyard while I watch from the kitchen and make meals. We went to the zoo today and tomorrow plan to meet some friends (weather permitting) to play in Oregon.

    Nervous: About finding out the baby’s gender! I am so anxious about it. I have no preference either way, but I just can not wait to know and be able to prepare a little more for their arrival.

    Dreaming: Ahh, when you said holding a newborn again it made me have little flutters because I am feeling the same way! I see newborns everywhere it feels like, and I just can not wait for ours to get here all the more :) I am also dreaming about a warm vacation Andrew and I are planning for just the two of us in a few months (the first since before Judah was born!)

    • Becca V
      February 20, 2014 | 7:37 pm

      Oh, Sarah! Thank you so much for sharing! I cannot wait to hear what gender you’re having!!! Either would be equally awesome; in my babysitting days, I watched a family of four boys – 4,3,2, and newborn and they were AWESOME :) I’m so excited for you guys to take a trip together after a long time in coming. Praise God and praying you’re doing great.

  3. Rhoda
    February 20, 2014 | 5:37 pm

    Oh I understand the spot you are in right now. This is actually the hardest part of adoption–the wait. You know the road and calling God has given you, you’ve done the work to get to this point, the excitement of doing and the anticipation of what is to come build sometimes to excess, and then… nothing. There’s nothing. No news, no more work to be done, no movement anywhere. At times you wonder if you are going forward or not. And WHY all this wait? There are children waiting all over the world for a family, there are children in this country waiting for a family. And WE have to WAIT! And can I share a secret–it doesn’t get easier. Waiting is the hardest thing you will ever do in this adoption. The other things are busywork, time fillers. But they are part of the process, getting you one step closer. And so is each day of your wait. I don’t know how long from news of your baby to actual holding in your arms your process is as we did international adoption, but if you think the wait is long now–wait until you get the news. For us, once we had a referral (and pictures), we still had to wait for Vietnam to give us a Giving and Receiving date (official day of adoption). Until that came, we couldn’t fly to get our children (we adopted two non-biological children at one time). To have your children in picture form is excruciating. The wait time at this point is still months… uncertain. Yet, God was in control of even our waits. Over and over in scripture we are told to be still, to wait on the Lord, to watch. Not something we do naturally or even care to do (especially in our culture today). God is in control of your wait. He is never late. The child He has for you and you for that child will be just when it should. I wish I could make this part of the process easier for you, just pray it away or something. But then you would miss some of the blessings God has for you in your wait. There are blessings there–the work inside the Father is doing in you, preparing you, trusting you, loving you, things He can only do when we have nothing else to do but wait. To wait on Him. Oh I just wrote another mini epistle–didn’t intend to. But my heart is so full for you and your family as you go this process. Adoption is not for the faint of heart. There is joy along the way. You are just where you need to be–in the Father’s hand, waiting on His timing, His blessings, His joy, His purpose for today and each day after that. So glad that you are finding joy along the way in the little things you do each day with your family (as you wait!).

    • Becca V
      February 20, 2014 | 7:42 pm

      Thank you, as always, for your encouragement Rhoda! I can only imagine how excruciating it must have been to have their pictures and not be able to get to them. You hit the nail on the head, it is just so strange to not be “doing” anything…everything is in and we just…wait. As you surely know, some days are certainly harder than others, but enjoying these days with my 4 and 2 year old keeps us busy and appreciative. We look forward to eager anticipation, but wait we shall.

    • The Groundskeeper
      February 26, 2014 | 6:55 pm

      Thank you so much for the encouragement. It is hard at times to remember that he is in charge of everything, including the wait. I keep reminding myself of that, but it is good to hear someone else reaffirm it and remind me that “He is never late.”

      • Becca V
        February 26, 2014 | 8:23 pm

        Glad your time of waiting is coming to a close!

  4. Angie Mae
    February 21, 2014 | 12:25 pm

    I found you from the Friday Favorites link up and I’m so glad I did! I loved this post! We’re TTC and foster parents and the waiting game is SOOOO hard–no matter how long (or short) it is!

    • Becca V
      February 21, 2014 | 3:42 pm

      Hi Angie Mae! Indeed, I can imagine the wait and your process on all accounts is challenging. God bless your family and thanks for stopping by :)

  5. Heather@To Sow a Seed
    February 24, 2014 | 1:26 am

    The wait is the worst part– but you know that already. :-) The work that God does in our hearts during that hard, anxious time, though– that’s the real fruit of this season of “in between.” God is preparing you, he’s preparing your little one .. he’s being faithful. He’s not sitting still– and neither are you (though it feels like it). You’re praying. You’re anticipating. You’re becoming more and more the person your children need as their mother. This waiting– it’s a good thing, in the end.


    • Becca V
      February 24, 2014 | 1:56 am

      Thank you for the beautiful encouragement. I know your journey has included this waiting; what a process.

  6. Julia
    February 24, 2014 | 2:54 pm

    A sweet Post. My heart goes out to you, some of our friends just adopted a baby boy after waiting for months. be encouraged! <3

    • Becca V
      February 24, 2014 | 7:39 pm

      Thank you, Julia!

  7. The Groundskeeper
    February 26, 2014 | 7:41 pm

    How long have you been waiting? After being foster parents for over 4 years we are now at the point of adopting our kids. It has been 2 years and 50 weeks (1080 days) since they moved in, 21 months (about 630 days) since termination of parental rights.
    Any News? Yes! In 17 days we get to finalize the adoption.
    How are you feeling today? Excited to finally have the end in sight, nervous that something will go wrong and we won’t get to adopt, and cautious to mention it to anyone we know (see being nervous)
    What are your prayers right now? That we will get to the court date without any hiccups. AND that once the adoption is finalized and our home reopens for more foster kids, I will be patient and continue to learn to wait on His timing – that I’ll be content with our family as it is if that is His wish.
    What have you done with your kids this week? Great question. It is so easy to lose this focus when being distracted by something ‘looming’ in the distance. Built a tent in the living room that then stretched across the playroom and into a bedroom. Read books. Baked cookies.
    Nervous about anything? See prayer requests above.
    Dreaming about/Looking forward to this week: Having kids with the same last name as us. No more case worker visits every month (at least for these kids). Sunshine and gardening. Walks to the park. The sound of the lawnmower…as a local teen mows our grass. :)
    What are you doing to prepare? To prepare for the finalization, I am picking up the house in case people want to come by once they hear about it happening. To prepare for potential new foster kids (we told our agency no new kids till this adoption was finished; the kids really needed the time and are doing so much better) I am decluttering, adding meals to the freezer, and trying to get to all those projects around the house that have piled up.
    How are you taking care of yourself this week? Exercising a few times this week and finishing up a book I started.
    New Baby Items: Part of the decluttering involved getting out old shirts to make into prefold diapers. There is no guarantee of a baby in our future, but these can always be given to someone else if it turns out we don’t need them.

    I didn’t know how good it would feel to get those things on ‘paper’. It really does feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. These questions seem to be asked of pregnant friends all the time, but no one has ever asked me those same things in regards to our situation (fostering, though open to adoption obviously). Perhaps I keep too quiet about things and instead should be more open about the process/life.

    Great post. Glad to see some of the logistics and fundraising to be falling into place. You seem to have a good attitude overall and hope you can continue to see things in the light of God’s timing.

    • Becca V
      February 26, 2014 | 8:22 pm

      WOW!! Thank you so much for sharing! You certainly have had a tremendous wait and I’m sure a tumultuous journey at times. What an unbelievable process and PRAISE GOD the end is in sight. I pray that the next 17 days go smoothly and I’m grateful you were able to capture some thoughts on paper and lighten the proverbial load a little. You’re right, sometimes we can be more open and sometimes people don’t even know what to ask or think of it the same way. With kids at home or in the tummy there seems to be more certainty; with foster or adoption the process is foreign to most. Thank you for sharing.

  8. Rhonda
    March 11, 2014 | 8:03 pm

    Just came across your blog for the first time recently. We have been waiting almost 10 months since we were approved to adopt. I also do Waiting posts like this one (inspired by Kristen over at Adoption Love (www.jkadoptionlove.com). I understand knowing in your head that the length of time we’ve waited is technically not long, but in the heart, ohhh in the heart it’s definitely long! It’s a comfort to me to know that God knows what He’s doing, though.

    • Becca V
      March 11, 2014 | 8:33 pm

      Hi Rhonda! I’m happy you stopped by and how cool that you keep track of this time of waiting, too!