I was so tired.
I simply wanted to sleep.
Before I g0t into bed, I thought I was going to fall asleep standing up.
Then, I lay down and…nothing.
Sleep eluded me.
As I grew more anxious, I made a decision:
Right now, I can toss and turn, be anxious and annoyed, and look at the clock every 15 seconds OR I can just lay here, deliberately not look at the clock, think pure and lovely thoughts, pray for my husband and my kid(s) and consciously enjoy the time to rest.
That is very close to the last thing I can remember.
It is so easy to think, “well, if I am awake I should be doing something and if I am not doing it I should at least be planning it in my head.” But, regardless of whether or not I am asleep, my body is resting. And, soon enough, as my heart and thoughts took shape around the Lord, “just” laying there became a precious gift.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
– Philippians 4:8-9