Blogging Transitional Thinking

Yesterday morning, 12.13.14 at 5:30 am, I hunkered down onto a bench at Starbucks. I was up nursing at 3:45 am (Those who don’t know me in “real life” wouldn’t know this, but we have a brand new (biological) nine week old baby girl) by the time she was ready to rest again it was almost 5 and I wasn’t falling back to sleep – why waste these precious early morning moments? Some days, sleep MUST prevail. Some days, morning time with God, books, paper, pens, and words must.

This morning was the latter.

It has been far too long since I’ve written, I doubt an apology feels necessary, but I’m sorry to those that have asked for an update and didn’t receive one. I’m also thankful to those same people who made me feel like my story, life, and writing were missed and worth reading. This blog and what I share are personal and emotional things, there is an excitement and vulnerability that comes from putting oneself out there.

To be honest, I’m not sure what I want out of it.

I’ve gone back and forth (incessantly) as to whether or not I should continue my blog for me or anyone else. And there are solid arguments for both sides. I don’t want it to take a space in my life that should be devoted to other things; it cannot be a priority at this point. Yet, just because it’s not a main thing doesn’t mean it can’t be something…but finding that balance is hard for me. I suppose that is part of this process: discovering passion, creating balance, growing purpose. And too often, I’m sure many of us feel that if we’re not at the finish line waving our medal for all the see (usually on Facebook :) then we’re obviously doing something wrong and can’t quite get the hang of this whole “living life well” hoopla. This past year has been beautifully blessed, but far from painless. God is the center of my life and my family the most precious priority. Within these perimeters, I want to be the best version of myself to offer up to the very people I love most, and figuring out how to do that is not without its pitfalls. I can’t say I missed blogging, not in that season. There was a lot of peace in simply living life, not thinking of how I might be able to recount an experience later; plus, just trying to stay sane and strong this last year took most of my mental energy. Depending on who you ask might result in different opinions on how well I did either, but I made the effort and knew that I had to eliminate everything that was not most vital.

My blog and writing might look different this time around. At least I hope it does.

I want to write for others, while not writing for anyone but myself. I want to write more confidently, sharing what I feel and not tailoring it to meet anyone else’s needs or be concerned about offending the perpetually offended. I want to be more concerned with sharing a story than the perfect image – literally or figuratively. I don’t want to subscribe to some formula or schedule of posting, I want to write what I feel when I feel it. I don’t want to feel like a failure if I write once a week or once a month, or just let it fall by the wayside for half the year.  I don’t want it to hold too much weight or give a false of self-worth. I don’t want to use this as a platform to develop a readership, but rather as a process to become more authentically me. If people stick around and want to read it, wonderful, thank you; if not, no worries, I’ll keep writing for me. It is a transition in my thinking, which may yield a transformation in my writing. We shall see.

See Becca Write. See Becca Process. (hopefully) See Becca Grow.

I have updates, but today, I just wanted to start somewhere. Thanks for still being here.


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4 Responses to Blogging Transitional Thinking
  1. Bonnie
    December 15, 2014 | 4:09 pm

    I was so pleasantly surprised to see a post pop up in my inbox from Milk and Honey Living :) So good to see you again. I was hoping that all was well with you. I will hang around and read whenever you write. A little girl??? That is awesome. I am expecting my fourth. I was very, very surprised to find myself pregnant again. It has not been painless, physically I’ve been ok, but emotionally for my husband and I it was a little stormy at the moment, but we are sooo very excited…as are my 3 little ones :). Life just never seems to be perfect enough for such a beautiful thing to take place. Even so, God is the center of our lives as well, so we trust Him! God bless you and your family!

    • Becca V
      January 3, 2015 | 3:31 am

      Hi Bonnie! Thank you so much for your kind words! Congratulations on expecting baby #4; I look forward to your comments and thank you again for sticking around. God bless you and yours.

  2. Rhoda
    December 15, 2014 | 7:12 pm

    Oh the happy dance going on here! One–to see your email–Yah! Two–a baby girl–woohoo!! I figured much was going on in your end of the world since we hadn’t heard from you in a while. Whenever I consciously thought about you and your blog I’d pray that God’s will would be done. Figured you would be back if and when you could. So, thank you for writing and updating us. I am in for the journey so whenever, however you get to write, choose to write, I am willing to wait and tag along. The words you have written in the past have been a blessing, a help along the way and I know will be in the future too.

    • Becca V
      January 3, 2015 | 3:29 am

      Thank you so much, Rhoda! I appreciate every single kind word and that you continue to read and follow along. I always appreciate your comments and participation in this blogging world – it is nice to process with others and hear your take on what comes bouncing out of my brain.