After having my second little boy, for three days I burst into inconsolable tears every time I saw my oldest. The moment he walked into the hospital room to meet his brother, my heart was all together elated and broken. Here he was, my baby (who had never looked so big) and I just rocked the world we’d known together. While I was head over heels in love with my new baby, I was also reminiscent of those first days and months as a new mommy with my first child. I couldn’t believe that the time as just us had now come to a close. Overall, the transition was as smooth as it could have possibly gone, but the experience is something that cannot be described. However, there are some ways one can nominally prepare!
I recently had the joy of reviewing the E-Book When Baby Becomes Big Sibling: Thriving through the transitions that come with adding another baby to your family by Paula Rollo (of Beauty through Imperfection and Blogging on the Side).
No two mamas, pregnancies, deliveries, or children are the same. We each have our unique gifting and challenges, but I nodded along as I read, having shared the same sentiment and felt so many of her exact feelings. She is honest about the aspects of motherhood that test her limits (and I think every mama can appreciate another woman’s acknowledgement of her reality vs. perceived perfection :)
Her book is a succinct overview of before, during, and after pregnancy with your second baby (and served as a great reminder for those adding more)! Her writing:
Validates the emotion that I’d assume nearly every expectant mother feels,
Encourages mamas on what to expect of yourself and your first child when the baby arrives,
Offers some concrete suggestions for the transition (I especially loved her book suggestions & gift ideas for big sibling)!
Just to give you a feel for her writing’s authenticity, I especially value when she says,
I’ve given up trying to be the perfect mama, I’m just trying to be a loving mama.
Not the “best mama to my kids” or “a good mama”…A loving mama! Her admittance eliminates the need to rely on ourselves to get this job done right (which would never happen in the first place), removes the pressure of accomplishing some glamorized notion of motherhood, and instead rightly replaces it with the main point – simply loving our children well by the Grace of God!
If you are adding another baby to your brood – whether it be number 2 or beyond – this is reassuring read that will validate and help calm the internal struggle while offering some really sound wisdom and tips for making the transition smoothly. Head here to snatch up a copy!
If you’re about to add #2, what are your biggest concerns or plans to prepare big sib?
If you’re a seasoned pro, what are your BEST suggestions?
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